Happy Mothers Day

So today is Mothers Day and it hits me hard every year that I do not have my very own child to have the day celebrated like most of my friends and family who can. I know it’s hard for people who have lost their mothers and I feel for these people also. I see the isles in the supermarkets stocked up with amazing gifts that mothers will receive today but the only gift I’d ever want on Mothers Day is the sign of my child being developed, the sight of my child in my arms, a hug.

Here’s a poem I’ve found to sum today up:

So I was online today in search of a mother’s day gift for myself…its a little weird considering that Im not officially a mother. But I think that all because I am not holding my child physically, does not make me any less of a mother than those that are. Now that I have that off of my chest, I came across this poem that touched my heart because it is something that is a very touching subject for not only myself, but all of us.

“Happy Mother’s Day”

It comes around every year;
but when you have empty arms,
it’s very hard to hear.

It’s a day to celebrate a mother,
for all the trials she overcame;
and a reminder to an infertile
of her loneliness and shame.

But what really makes a mother,
Is it just conception and birth?
Or is there something more,
that shows a mother’s worth?

It’s putting your child first,
in everything you do;
it’s sacrifice and determination,
and love and patience too.

An infertile woman makes all her plans,
around a child not yet conceived;
she loves them even though they aren’t here, more than she ever could have believed.

She appreciates and understands,
what a blessing that children are;
she works hard for just a chance,
that motherhood is not that far.

All odds are stacked against her,
and yet she still has hope;
everyday is another struggle,
finding ways to help her cope.

So even though her arms are empty,
she can still be a mother too;
So say a special “Happy Mother’s Day”
for those waiting for their dreams to come true!

Happy Mothers Day to all who are dreaming and hoping to become a mother in the future xxxx

Oh what a weekend!

Well this weekend was the lowest I have had in quite a while. Sorry if I go off on a tangent but hopefully it will make me feel a load better.

Friday

I went to school to conduct a bit of supply teaching and all went ok. Straight after, I went straight to town to get a new outfit for Saturday, this, as you can see from my previous blog about trying on clothes, did not go too well at all! In the evening we went for tea to a local pub for Ste’s 30th birthday and I still felt down about the event throughout the day. I had my food (which I felt guilty about, as I shouldn’t have had it being on the plan I am on but decided to as it was for a special occasion) and I began to feel ok.  After I finished, I went into the loo, took a glance into the mirror and saw my awful face…… the blackest bags I have EVER had under my eyes and I looked paler than I usually do!  I instantly thought about the need to cut down on the amount of stuff I am doing.  This got me feeling even worse and was quiet for the rest of the evening really.

I took my hubby and Ste out as they were continuing  the celebration at another pub and I went back to my sister in laws (Susan’s) house, where I was there until 11.30.  I went home and went straight to bed as I was in work on Saturday.  I woke myself up at 2.30am panicking as Steven wasn’t there and I forgot that he was out.  This was the start of a broken night’s sleep.

I got up in the morning and went straight to work, feeling like a bag of crap!

Saturday

I was working until 2.30 today and I was there from 9-12.30 on my own so I got through the work I needed.  I was quieter than and not as cheery as I usually am and a few people noticed this.  The lack of sleep and feeling down on Friday stayed with me.  I decided to go for ‘round 2’ of trying clothes on and it took me a while to find something.  I went home and began to get ready for Manchester.  I still looked like crap and the makeup didn’t seem to make me look any different either.

We finally got to Manchester and I decided that I wasn’t going to drink as I seem to become really ill when I do drink.  We wasn’t there long and everyone got the train back to Newton where the night continued.  I went straight home to get my car and met back up with everyone.  I was out until 2am where I was taking everyone home.  I finally got to bed with work on Sunday being close in sight.

Sunday

I got up and went straight to work, today I was on my own all day and thankfully I was busy.  I was down again due to the lack of sleep over the weekend and how rough I looked.  Chats with some of the HMV lads got my spirits up and I continued my day as normal.

As we all know it was Mothers Day too and this was hard for me.  Another year without a child or being pregnant didn’t go down too well with my thoughts.  Never the less I wished all my special friends and family with children and who were/are expecting a ‘Happy Mothers Day’.  It was nice to see that they had a lovely day.  Some people on Facebook and Twitter said that they didn’t have a good day due to some silly reasons, no matter what, if you have a child, Mothers Day would always be special in my eyes.

I got home and did the ‘Mum’ run with the hubby and finally got home and went to bed.

Upon reflection, I think that I should put this weekend behind me and look forward to the future, stay positive and remember that my family and friends are there to support me and always will be.

A big thank you for all the comments, likes and chats I have had over the weekend too.  It’s nice to hear and see that there are so many of you who are enjoying my blog and following it.

This makes it worthwhile 🙂