30th Birthday Celebrations

I know, I know, I was 30 back in December but why not blog about it now?!

I turned 30 on the 20th December and for some time, I’ve wanted to have a party to celebrate this.  I might have the odd house party to celebrate but as my birthday is 5 days before Christmas, people can’t seem to make it at times so this was a way to get everyone together and celebrate.  The birthday wasn’t the only celebration though as I was shaving my hair for Cancer Research to support my mum with her cancer journey.

Christmas was the theme and it was an option of Christmas jumpers or Christmas Fancy Dress; I opted for Mrs Claus.  I kitted the room out with Christmas decorations, I called Santa to see if he would come along and give a gift to the kids who where there and I put out a pretty good spread.  I got my brother in law to do the DJing, my sister in law to do the photography and got the family together to set up the room the night before.

The party came soon enough and we had a ball (well I know I did!).  The plan of action was Santa giving out gifts, buffet to open (which gave me time to have my hair plaited ready for the head shave), head shave and then party the night away.

All the kids loved having Santa there, they all receive a gift each (I chose well as they loved them!), the photos came out great too (I’d never doubt that for a second of course!) and then it was time for me to take a seat ready for the raffle.  Most plaits were raffled off so everyone had a shot of cutting one off.  These were put away for safe keeping of course as they were being donated to The Little Princess Trust.  Then my friend Diane shaved the rest of my hair off!  Scary but amazing especially with the hair I had!

Then the surprise came….. my husband of 7 years proposed to me!  Back in 2004 I proposed to him on the 29th Feb, we married in 2008 on the 29th Feb just to be different of course and ever since I’ve joked about not knowing what it will feel like being proposed to…. I can tell you it’s amazing!  Obviously we will HAVE to renew our wedding vows now won’t we 😉  We was also asked to be god-parents to our new Nephew Roman!  Everything went on that night!

From the head shave I raised £2273.64 for Cancer Research, I donated my hair to The Little Princess Trust and I got some fab certificates for the pleasure.  Amazing to think that I raised all that money and my hair was accepted to make a wig for a little child who needs it.

For further information and links to the companies listed please click below:

http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/

http://www.littleprincesses.org.uk/

makelifememorable.wordpress.com or https://www.facebook.com/elowreyphotography

 

Here’s a few pictures from the night and a link to the video (grab a tissue!)

Lynz x

Worrior Mum: The Cancer Fight

Previously I mentioned in my previous blog about my mum being diagnosed with lung cancer.  This was one of the biggest things I have had to deal with in my life.  It was a shock to us all.  It began with her saying that she was suffering with heartburn which then developed further in a matter of hours into a pain in her left side.  We wanted to take her to the Walk-In Centre or A&E but she was having none of it (the last time she was in the hospital for herself was when she gave birth to my brother) and she thought she could sleep it off as she felt really tired too so I gave her a couple of hours, called back and she said that it was time to go A&E as she started coughing up blood!  We rushed her into A&E and everything moved quickly from there.  She stayed in over the weekend after having different tests.  More tests were ordered as they found a shadow on her left lung then on the 2nd October 2014, my brothers 24th birthday, she found out that she had lung cancer.  It was inoperable as it was small cell cancer and they said it was aggressive and can spread quickly so treatment must start ASAP.  I broke down in that room and the feeling I had is indescribable.  Mum said she will fight this all the way and she is thankful for the length of time she has been alive.  She said, for ever year that she has lived over her mum has been a bonus; 10 years!  She packed in smoking straight away as this is the main cause for this; she wishes that she did it sooner.

Soon enough treatment plans came through and chemotherapy was first in line.  Anyone who knows my mum will tell you that she is hard as nails, nothing phases her and she will tell you how it is so going though this was just the same.  Sat in the waiting room in Clatterbridge, the people flooded in!  I was shocked to see the amount of people who were there to be treated or have their bloods done ready to be told that they were ok to go ahead with their chemotherapy session.  We went to the cubical that they told us to and as we was 1st in, mum had the choice of seat; straight to the window, next to the radiator and close to the TV with Smooth FM playing aloud.  She took the 1st session on the chin!  We had a laugh as she was singing away with the radio and was learning to text properly so she could bulk text her mates in work!  We had a packed lunch too, to keep us going of course 😉

The cycles were every 3 weeks for chemotherapy and there were new people every time she was due to have her session.  She brightened everyones day from the nurses to the patients just because of her positive attitude, her ‘amazing’ singing voice and her caring nature.  There was one lady who requested to be with my mum when she was due to have her chemotherapy again!

By her 2nd lot of chemotherapy, she was given 3 weeks of radiotherapy with just the weekends off.  This was to target the lung.  Again, you would meet new people and see the flocks of patients coming in and out of the clinics.  Her first day on radiotherapy, she was in the room for ages, this was because they could see a difference in her lung already from one chemotherapy session!  Amazing!  Mum took this on the chin and ‘back heeled’ it as she would tell everyone.  Although she had the sickness and felt her body slowing down, it didn’t stop her from being out every day.

As her 4th and last chemotherapy session finished, it was Christmas week and her one main wish was to be able to taste her Christmas Dinner, thankfully she could!  She had a break over Christmas and New Year from the treatment and was waiting to hear about the preventative radiotherapy on her brain.  This was 2 weeks of more intense treatment and this was the worst of it all.  Her hair was just starting to come back but this was to be lost again (this wasn’t a worry for her though), sickness was high, tiredness took over her body and her taste buds were shot.  The machine she was on would lock her into place with this mesh mask that was put over you.  You couldn’t move with it and for anyone who suffers with claustrophobia, it would be your worst nightmare.  She got through it though which is the main thing.

Moving forward, she was called to have another scan to see how the treatment has gone and to see what the cancer is like.  The consultant shouted her name and before we walked in mum said “whatever he says we will get though it”.  The scan of the lungs before and the lungs after were on the screen.  We had never seen these before as mum didn’t want to know or see anything, just for them to do what they can to help her get better.  Well they did just that!  The lung before was a 3rd full with this tumour and the one after looked as if it had been cut out completely; it had shrunk to nothing!  We are still amazed today!

She isn’t out of the woods yet though as she needs to have check ups and scans every 4 months to be monitored and she has to build up her strength too.  Her current diet consists of Cornflakes, Starburst, Vimto cordial and chips and gravy from the Chipmonk!  She’s been told that her tastebuds and hair may not come back, her short term memory may be affected and headaches may be quite frequent but she said that’s the price I am willing to pay to be given a second chance at life.

Thanks goes out to The Clatterbridge Cancer Centre from the management and nurses to the volunteers, her consultant Dr Haridass, Macmillan and Cancer Research.  If you didn’t do what you do then this may never have happened.  Thank you.

Lynz x

me and mum

It’s 2015! No blogging for over a year! Thought I’d give it another go!

Hi all!

Oh how I’ve missed publishing my feelings and using my blog.  I’ve not blogged since August 2013 which is a while ago.  Just took me ages to get set back up but it will be worth it I’m sure!

So, what’s been happing in the time over a year you ask?  Well a few ups and downs I’d say but I’m getting there.

My career has some to an end.  Teaching is not for me.  I enjoy working with the kids and making a difference but that’s about it.  It has made me ill on several occasions and I have jumped ship.  It’s an experience I won’t forget and I am damn sure that my skills will be transferrable.  I need a work:life balance.  I was unable to achieve this when I was teaching.  I wouldn’t see my family for weeks on end and I know I wouldn’t forgive myself if anything bad happened to them in that time.  I know that all careers can be hard working and you do it to have the best of everything but you need a life too, right?!  It’s a good job I became ill as I have been able to look after my mum and dad now.  My mum was looking after my dad and has done for many years (unfortunately he has various illnesses but he is too proud to show them) but my mum has now become ill too.  Cancer decided to target her.  So what my mum can’t do, I can.  I can also look after my mum by taking her to all the appointments she has for her treatment and meet with the doctors and consultants when they request.  I can also take my dad to his appointments and help around their house too.  Rewarding and upsetting at the same time I tell you.  Being a full time carer can be hard work (I don’t see it as hard work, they have looked after me and brought me up so it’s my turn to do the looking after) but that’s another story.

Health-wise – let’s not go there.  TTC still not happening and I am under investigation due to prolonged bleeds which are beginning to scare the life out of me.  I was dreaming last night about it.  Somewhere in my dream I was told to start investigating and do more for myself and that’s what I’m going to do.  When I was 18, I had a cervical cancer scare and I am actually worried that this could now be linked to that.  I have fought to have a scan (my blood loss started back in June 2014 and it’s still happening.  I have had blood work that shown I was ‘fine’ and I had a scan the other day to which I am waiting the results on.  I rang to get an appointment so I can discuss this further with my GP.  Lets see how I get on there.  With the family links to cancer, I don’t want to risk it anymore.

Family life is great apart from the above.  I am able to spend time with the people I care about and love.  I have a great support network around me and certain people do get me through everything.  My husband is my rock and I know he helps me no end with everything.  I can’t thank him enough.

Anyway’s I have to go.  Hopefully I get to blog more this year!

Lynsey x

It’s been a while hasn’t it!

So I haven’t been blogging for a while (April was my last blogging session) as I have been working hard and not had the time to update so I do apologise for that 🙂

What’s been happening over the past 4 months then?  Lets separate them into sections so you can see.

Career

Well I have got a job in a College teaching which is fantastic and I know this is what I want to do (It’s taken a while for me to decide where I fitted in and this is the right choice).  I was working in several jobs which stopped me from seeing my family and friends yet again but once the job in the College came, I stopped the other roles as I knew that I needed to focus on my career and it has paid off! Hurrah!!!

Depression, Anxiety and Stress

I am happier than I have been in a while and this is down to the support from my family and friends.  If they weren’t around and stood by me when things were bad then I wouldn’t have got through it.  I know that it was a stage in my life where I was pushed way over my limit and I needed to give in for a while.  There is nothing to be ashamed about if you have or are suffering with depression, anxiety and/or stress as it’s your body telling you that you have been strong for far too long and you need to rest and get some help.  It’s hard to do but please tell someone how you are feeling if you need to 🙂

Weight

I am still struggling with my weight and I am coming to terms with the fact that I am not helping myself with the food choices that I have been making.  I joined back Weight Watchers and have been referred to the dietetics department within the clinic I attend for fertility as my Fertility Specialist has realised that there is something I need support with here.  I have been for my initial consultation and today I attended to see a dietician who explained exactly how my weight isn’t shifting and the type of plan I need to follow for my own body – Low Gi.  I am in the process of reading up about this and what types of foods I am better having.  I will be linked with this person for a while now to help me with my weight issue.  I am also due to see the Physiotherapy department too so they can help with the physical side.  I am so happy that I am receiving extra support.  I just need to work with them and myself to become healthier.

Fertility

So I am still far from being pregnant.  I had a very large cycle of 10 months where nothing happened at all apart from being in pain.  A scan was conducted the other week to see what changes may have happened and these results should be given tomorrow when we go to see our Fertility Specialist.  I know the 1st thing will be ‘you need to lose weight’ which really annoys me as I can see for myself that I need to!  I am hoping to get more answers to what and how I can work with my dodgy ovaries to help with the weight loss and possibly the chance of conceiving naturally.  We will make a list of questions and treatments that could be done and see where we go.  It’s getting a little tedious just to be told that I need to lose weight so we can have IVF.  Surely there is something else!  Only time will tell.

In other news

I’ve been looking through my bucket list and have crossed another few items off which is great!  I feel a sense of achievement when I cross items off the list.  Some people say that they are easy to achieve but when you are mad busy and don’t have a settled job (like I have now) then it’s fairly hard.  Here’s to crossing more off in the future.

That’s it for now and as always, any comments will be replied to and thanks again for all of your support.

Lynsey xx

A – Z of me

I have just found this via another friends blog so I thought I’d do the same as it’s a fab idea.  Enjoy!

ANORAK: Do you have a sad side?

I absolutely love lists!  To do list’s, shopping lists, birthday lists and gift lists…… they are all fab!  I also change the sound on my car radio or TV to an even number or a 5 – no 1’s, 3’s, 7’s or 9’s for me thank you very much!  I do also find cleaning very therapeutic.

BODY: What physical attribute would you most like to change?

about 90% of my body.  My stomach, thighs, chin, bum, feet, arms, fingers and all female internal organs that do not work as they were created for.  Damn you ovaries!

CELEBRITY: Which one would you most like to date and why?

Ooo I have a few!  Will Smith, Vin Diesel, Jason Statham and Bradley Cooper are a few to reel off!  They are gorgeous 😉

DEBUT: Tell us about your first ever blog post. What made you start blogging?

My first blog post was on the 5th March 2012.  I decided to blog about the daily stresses that I was going through linking with life, my weight issues and most of all my infertility.

ERROR: What’s been your biggest regret?

I regret taking a job in a certain workplace as it made me ill.  Never again will I allow a workplace to take control of me.

FUNNY: Who’s making you laugh?

My husband makes me laugh with the things he comes out with.  He’s my best friend and can cheer me up instantly.  I have to give credit to my close family and friends here too as they can make me giggle especially my identical twin Sister in Laws – they are crackin’!

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GRAND: If we gave you one right now what would you spend it on?

I would probably book a holiday abroad to have some ‘us’ time as we struggle to get that these days.  We both deserve it!!

HOLIDAY: What’s your favourite destination?

I can’t chose just the one as I love lots of places that we have been to over the years.  Cyprus as it was our honeymoon destination, Las Vegas as it was completely different to anywhere else we have been before, Ibiza as it is a dance fans dream and Skegness (Butlins) as we have had lots of fun there.

IRRITATE: What’s your most annoying habit?
I am addicted to the Internet so this unfortunately means that I will be on my iPhone ever 5 minutes and when at home I will get on the laptop and search the Internet.  I need to cut down :/

JOKER: What’s your favourite joke {the one that makes you laugh every time you hear it}?

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they AARRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHH!  Haha!

KENNEL: Do you have any pets?
I have the most cuddly, friendly and mad dog you can come across.  Bruno is a Chocolate Labrador and he is our little son and love him dearly.  Look at that smile 🙂

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LOVE: Are you single, married, engaged, living with a long term partner?
I have been married for over 5 years and many more years are yet to come.

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MEAL: What’s your ultimate starter, main and dessert?

Starter: Anything mushroom based; bredded, stuffed or garlic mushrooms
Main: An amazing steak medium-rare with lots of vegetables and chunky chips
Dessert: Chocolate fudge cake

NOW: If you could be anywhere right now where would you be and who with?
On holiday with my amazing husband.

OFF DUTY: What do you do in your spare time?

What is spare time?  I am a workaholic and really need to cut down my jobs.  My Sister in Law calculated my working week being over 80 hours!  This is not good as it’s cutting my Internet use down dramatically 😉  I do enjoy going to the gym when I have the confidence though.

PROUD MOMENTS: What are you most proud of?

I am proud of graduating from University 3 times.  Not bad for a girl who comes from a normal family who has had to work her arse off to get where she is today eh 😉

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QUEASY: What turns your stomach?

Knees!!  You know how feet knock some people sick, well thats what it’s like for me with knees.  I have trouble with my knees personally and when they are having an off week and I’m in pain, the crunching and moving of them go through me.  I can’t even let anyone touch my knees either.  YUK!

RELAX: How do you relax?

I am the biggest stress head going (ask my family and friends) so relaxing is hard for me.  If anyone has any suggestions then please let me know 🙂

SONG: What’s your favourite song of all time?

Red Hot Chilli Peppers – By The Way,  I love that song!

TIME: If you could go back in time and relive it again, when would you choose?

I would go back to the point of me choosing my University course and seeing if I did want to go down the route I chose.  The only thing I would like to keep the same are the people who I have met along the way as I have made some really amazing friends.

UNKNOWN: Tell us something about yourself that no one else knows?

I’ll get back to you on that one 🙂

VOCAL: Who is your favourite artist?

I’m going to say Example.  I love his songs and he’s great live too.  Iam not dismissing any other bands I love too (Take That, Boyzone and 5ive to name a few)

WORK: What is your dream job, and are you doing it now?

I have always wanted to work with children and I have reached that achievement by becoming a Teacher and working as a Voluntary Online Cyber Mentor but I would love to be an event planner – planning weddings would be a dream come true!

XRAY: Any broken bones?

I have broken my left wrist twice and fractured it a third time.  I have always been in the wars and was given the achievement of ‘Accident Prone of the Year’ at school in 1996.

YIKES: What’s been your most embarrassing moment?

I’m not too sure to be honest….

ZOO: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

I think I’d like to be a tiger as I’d be able to fend for myself, have a ball with my group of friends and still eat meat. RAWRRR!!

April Fools Day

So it’s April Fools Day and this is where so many people will be playing pranks on one another. This could be in the form of a new product launch (scratch and sniff canvases, iron man suit and a hologram wife are a few that I’ve seen already!) or opening all the cans of pop in the fridge very slightly and tipping out the contents so everyone thinks they have been manufactured this way 😉

One way that would be upsetting to see today is the “I’m pregnant” prank. Now this will only affect a few people as a “I’ve got cancer” prank would be too. Both are not nice in there own ways for certain people to see.

I have seen this on the Internet today that was a nice way to show that it can be insensitive to post these things. Before I am told in all sorts of ways that “I’m being silly for saying this”, “this wasn’t meant to hurt you” and the likes – I am merely updating my blog that helps both myself and other infertile a around the world so please don’t read it if you’re offended by my thoughts and advice but if you are interested and you feel it’s ok for me to say it then thank you and read away 🙂

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Happy Mothers Day

So today is Mothers Day and it hits me hard every year that I do not have my very own child to have the day celebrated like most of my friends and family who can. I know it’s hard for people who have lost their mothers and I feel for these people also. I see the isles in the supermarkets stocked up with amazing gifts that mothers will receive today but the only gift I’d ever want on Mothers Day is the sign of my child being developed, the sight of my child in my arms, a hug.

Here’s a poem I’ve found to sum today up:

So I was online today in search of a mother’s day gift for myself…its a little weird considering that Im not officially a mother. But I think that all because I am not holding my child physically, does not make me any less of a mother than those that are. Now that I have that off of my chest, I came across this poem that touched my heart because it is something that is a very touching subject for not only myself, but all of us.

“Happy Mother’s Day”

It comes around every year;
but when you have empty arms,
it’s very hard to hear.

It’s a day to celebrate a mother,
for all the trials she overcame;
and a reminder to an infertile
of her loneliness and shame.

But what really makes a mother,
Is it just conception and birth?
Or is there something more,
that shows a mother’s worth?

It’s putting your child first,
in everything you do;
it’s sacrifice and determination,
and love and patience too.

An infertile woman makes all her plans,
around a child not yet conceived;
she loves them even though they aren’t here, more than she ever could have believed.

She appreciates and understands,
what a blessing that children are;
she works hard for just a chance,
that motherhood is not that far.

All odds are stacked against her,
and yet she still has hope;
everyday is another struggle,
finding ways to help her cope.

So even though her arms are empty,
she can still be a mother too;
So say a special “Happy Mother’s Day”
for those waiting for their dreams to come true!

Happy Mothers Day to all who are dreaming and hoping to become a mother in the future xxxx